It's been nearly a year since writing anything on my website. I've been so busy with life, and the daily rituals of family and work that I could never find the time to do the things I love the most.
Although I began working when I was 14 my direction was skewed, and in all these years I can not remember ever being asked, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" I can, however, remember being told that I need to be two things in life: a doctor or a lawyer, of which I'm neither. Does that mean I wasn't truly asked? Undoubtably not. However, the mind is amazing, and what people often remember is selective. I am no different.
Does that mean I should have gotten my shit together? Probably so, but wisdom only comes with experience, and that's certainly something I didn't have in my teens or early twenties. Even now I sit back and wonder if the things I do are right, but unlike my earlier years, I also realize that dwelling on the negative, the past and the ebb and flow of daily on goings only creates greater frustration.
I've spent the last year reflecting on balance, as well. What I learned is balance is a grand illusion. It's a fuzzy haze with no set parameters, and often becomes nothing more than an untouchable desire. Either way, I've stopped searching for balance, and started sifting through the bullshit to see what really makes me happy. This happiness is not dependent on others, but based on the sheer joy it brings me. This single parameter defines what is allowed to affect me.
So here I am moving forward, making progress and developing in a direction that makes me a better person based on what I believe is important to me. This is my Forward 40.
Lisa M. White
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