It's another early day and I've decided to post a short blog post. Who am I kidding? I know it's going to be a long one. I think I just wrote that to lure you in.
I've been thinking a lot lately, and am very unsure of the next steps in my life. I have spent the last decade doing what I think is the best and right thing for everyone else, and somewhere along the way I lost sight of things. I became fearful, and full of resentment. Externally I seem pleasant and okay, but internally things are frayed and raw.
Although I do the best to keep things balanced, they no longer feel that way. The scale has surely begun to weigh heavily on the negative side. Positivity has taken a back seat. I feel that things need to change, and my plans are to make those changes each day with small gradual steps to find myself again.
For years my direction has been all over, and usually with one step forward, and sixteen back. Obvioulsy success is never linear, and there are many mistakes and setbacks along the way, but sometimes, a straight shot to success would be wonderul for the tiniest goals.
That's something else I noticed that I lost sight of. My goals. I haven't set realistic, or even unrealistic goals, for quite some time. These have been forgotten and not replaced with anything meaningful.
I often wonder if balance is cruel joke that only a few people get. Or is it a lifelong obsession that never amounts to anything?
Lisa M. White
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